I hate having boarderline personality disorder. It's like I'm some alien while the rest of the world is just normal. They don't understand me, so they give up trying. I'm tired of expaining myself and how i am to everyone, they don't get it. They don't get it bcuz i dont explain things well at all. I don't know- i used to be happy in my situaton. No... you know what it is? I feel like im taking advantage of what my boss has offered me. Im afraid if she finds out that im at work when we arent even open, on the computer, she would get mad. I don't relly know, tohugh. So that's why I clean a lot on my days off, so i don't feel as bad using the washer to wash my clothes (im homeless. She doesn't know.) I wonder what would really even go through her mind seeing me cleaning here when we aren't open, us both knowing i wouldn't be getting paid for it. Jeez, im tired. i would pull out my tent and take a nice anp, but its too hot out. I sweat my as s off in that thing during the day. I dont know. Im just upset and depressed and don't know why.